I wouldn't have nothing
by Citizenofwhoville123
Summary: River and the Doctor pay Amy and Rory a visit - but they're too early. 2nd Part - Revenge!
1. I wouldnt Have nothing

A/N So, this probably requires a bit of an explanation.

This story was prompted by hearing 'I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you' (For those who don't know it, it's a cheesy song from the Pixar movie Monsters Inc. I haven't seen the movie in years, I just got inspired by the song title. I like to think I have a bit more taste.) on the radio this morning, and by my undying love for the eleventh regeneration and his companions (I've only watched him and a handful of 10. Isn't Matt Smith just brilliant! I've been coming to like Tennant too, but 11's always gonna be my doctor, if you know what I mean.)

Summary: At 20, after the madness with Prisoner Zero and such, Amy and Rory are out on a date. The Doctor and River happen to be together too at the same place, and they 'accidentally' run into each other. Hilarity ensues.

Disclaimer: I'm not British, I just wish i was, and the BBC would never let me within a 300 mile radius of the rights to DW, so as much as I think that Steven Moffat is a genius, the cast is absolutely magnificent, the characters are amazing (especially River, I simply adore her! She's really so much fun) and I would really love to own it, I don't. If I did, we'd all be watching the River and The Doctor Show. So, until BBC decides they'd like to have a chat with me about the rights to the show, please don't sue me or anything nasty like that!

Also, if you enjoy this, why not check out my other story...

Hope you like it! This will be in two parts (different stories not chapters) So there is more to come...

I wouldn't have nothing...

"Do you ever wonder if that whole deal with Prisoner Zero was just some kind of hoax, or mass hallucination or something?"

Sitting across from him at a small table in a corner of the Cafe just below the window, Rory's long time best friend and girlfriend Amy Pond cupped her hands around the mug of coffee in front of her and considered his question.

"No." She said.

Of course she didn't. Since she was seven, Amy had been obsessed with the idea that her raggedy doctor would one day return. She didn't care that everything about and connected to him was impossible.

"Right. It doesn't matter. How's Mels?"

Amy, still looking disgruntled by Rory's apparent lack of faith, rolled her eyes.

"In trouble. I left her with strict instructions to not do anything stupid while I was out."

"I'm not bailing her out this time. It's your turn, I believe."

Amy sighed.

"Maybe she'll listen to me this time."

"Yep, and pigs might fly, Amy. Let's be realistic."

"Actually, there's a planet in the Alpha Tev Quadrent where pigs can fly. However, I wouldn't count on Melody behaving."

Rory turned around in shock to see a woman with curly blond hair and a mischievous grin.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

"Doctor River Song, archaeologist. Hello Rory, Amy. You two look young. Really young. Have we met yet?" the woman seemed to take their confused looks as a definitive answer. "Right. I'll take that as a no then. Doctor, we're too early! Get back to the TARDIS."

"Hang on," said Amy. "Did you say you were with the Doctor? Did you mean him? The Doctor?"

River suddenly wore the expression of one who has just talked themselves into a bad scenario and now has to dissuade her parents from a notion that could warp her future. It was an expression she wore rather often.

"Yes, The Doctor. Doctor...Smith! Amazing Doctor that man. We were just...leaving, right Smith?"

No response.

"Doctor!" cried the woman a few times. "Doctor! Oh, its no use. Hes no doubt taken the TARDIS out of here! Doctor!" she looked at her parents "Do you mind if I eat with you for a bit? It seems my ride has forgot me."

"Yeah, we do a bit!" Protested Rory.

Ignoring them, River pulled up a chair.

"So dears, what shall we talk about?"

-later on the TARDIS-

"That was horrible! Never make me go through that again!" said River,slumping against the console and looking, for once, completely exhausted. "Amy kept demanding that I tell her about you, which of course I can't do, and Rory didn't trust me and they didnt talk about anything interesting! At all. All because you couldn't pick me up before the TARDIS 'malfunctioned!'"

"I'm sorry!" exclaimed The Doctor. "I'm really sorry! I got her under control as soon as I could! It's not my fault she likes you better. She hasnt been flying properly for me ever since I actually started to let you pilot. I think she was trying to avoid a paradox. She only turned around because I told her that you were stranded there!"

River smiled at this and began punching in the coordinates for Ledworth.

"Terrible when the ship picks favorites, isn't it!"

The Doctor joined his wife at the console, kissing her forehead and grinning.

"Where are we going then?"

"Earth, 2012. New Years Eve. Ledworth. To give the Ponds a taste of their own medicine, so to speak."

- Coming Soon: Part 2- :) Thanks for reading


	2. If I Didn't Have You

A/N I know it has been AGES! But here's part two! I'm so sorry!

...if I didn't have you!

Amy Pond found the note on her kitchen counter during dinner when she got up to retrieve the salt from the kitchen. She picked it up and brought it into the dining room.

"Hey Rory," she said, handing it to him, "look at this."

The note read:

_Hello Ponds! _

_As our New Years gift to you, we're treating you to dinner and a movie tomorrow night! Dress nicely! We'll pick you up at seven! See you then! :)_

_Love,_

_River and The Doctor_

_P.S. Don't worry if you had other plans! We have a time machine..._

_P.P.S River wants you to know that I wrote this, just so you know whose fault it is if there are grammar mistakes or something._

_P.P.P.S Bowties are cool! (And fezzes!) _

_P.P.P.P.S River says we have to go - just one more thing - Stetsons. The ultimate cool. :)_

DW

The TARDIS arrived, late of course, at 7:45 the next day. The Doctor and River dropped them off, telling them that the movie would follow dinner, and they'd pick them up afterwards.

The food was nice enough, and it was quiet, candlelit, not very busy with only a few other couples there, and actually quite romantic. And it went very well, until the dinner entertainment came on.

A man entered and walked up to the platform in the front of the room, turning on a microphone and addressing the crowd.

"Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. We have some special entertainment prepared for you, free of charge, as the Hotel Denumount's New Years gift to you. So, with out further ado, let me introduce John Smith and the Amazing Mels!"

There was some scattered applause which faded quickly as the curtain rose and the duo came into view.

The man had dark hair that was done up in a sloppy Elvis style hairdo and streaked with red, along with a very large, bulbous nose with several large moles. The woman was wearing heels that were higher and more ridiculous than Amy had ever seen, a short, torn dress that may have either once been white or had started out a dingy grey. Her hair was curly and blond, but streaked with dark blue dye and she was wearing possibly the most absurd false eyelashes in existence.

The two appeared to...sing and...dance, though the terms were a bit more generous than the two really deserved. The man mumbled his way through "A Little Help From My Friends" and "In My Life" by the Beatles, and did an enthusiastic, if terrible, rendition of "Burning Love" by Elvis while the woman acted as a squeaky, earsplittingly high back up singer and a sort of dancer, though Amy wasn't sure that the odd sort of hopping thing 'Mels' was doing quite qualified as dancing.

It may have been funny under other circumstances, but the couples, Amy and Rory included, just kind of sat in a confused, bewildered, and disgusted silence. When the two finally finished with "Don't Stop Believing," which they had pilfered so badly it may have been considered a crime, not one person could bring them self to clap, and they all looked stunned by the atrocity they had witnessed.

"Rory." said Amy, staring at her half eaten meal in dismay, as she wasn't all that hungry anymore, "Never, ever let the Doctor pick where we eat again, okay?"

Rory nodded slowly, still staring at the platform in shock.

DW

When the TARDIS appeared a few hours later, Amy and Rory entered to find River sitting on one of the chairs in the console room, reading. When she heard them come in, she looked up.

"Nice evening? I love that place."

"No!" said Amy, glaring. "It was terrible! They had this singer, he was horrible! And the movie was a lecture on thermodynamics! I was bored to death! I hated it!"

The Doctor walked in, looking at the Ponds.

"What's this? Nice night out? It's River's favorite."

"Umm, Doctor, never make us go there again. Please?"

The Doctor looked hurt.

"We thought you'd have a great time."

Later that night, having decided to get some rest in the TARDIS, Amy got up to use the bathroom. As she walked out, she almost tripped over a large, ugly rubber nose.


End file.
